Sleep, Y U NO stop disappearing at night?!

If only a person resembling a panda could look this cute.

If there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that I’m sure to look like a panda tomorrow, all thanks to the ever-deepening pits under my eyes.  Sleep deprivation does not suit me very well. Just like most of my nights here in Bombay, I can’t sleep. I don’t know what it is about being here that has messed with my sleep cycle this badly, but I JUST CANNOT SLEEP!


With howling, nocturnal dogs and a beetle that just won’t leave me alone for company (I’m pretty sure I woke people up with my shrieks when it flew right at my face), I’m lying in bed, writing/typing this and trying to figure out what exactly it is that is keeping me up.

Whether it's my body being unable to adjust to the new surroundings, or my stomach’s constant rumbling due to lack of food (thanks for that, Ankita Singh), or the cute, but annoyingly noisy, dogs creating a ruckus outside every damn night, or something entirely in my mind, I can’t say.

I don’t like being around people. The only people I’d like to be with are those that aren’t around, those I cannot be with. I’d rather people just let me be and not try to make me talk.

Stop asking me questions. Stop making me pretend to like you. Stop calling. Stop asking me what I’m thinking. Because more often than not, I have no idea.

Just let me be.

I share an apartment with two other girls—one that refuses to come back to the city and another that I hardly ever get to see. This wasn’t exactly how I had envisioned having my own place with friends would feel like. A great part of it involved actually getting to see those friends. Could it be lack of contact with people I actually care about (and those I work with do NOT count here) that’s keeping me up? Am I actually, subconsciously of course, craving for some company? I find that hard to believe.

I’ve always wanted this life—a job, a house, money, independence and lots and lots of shoes. What I didn’t factor in is the trivial amount of loneliness that would accompany having all of it.

I’m gonna get through this, whatever “this” actually is.

Reading though what I’ve written so far, it doesn’t make much sense to me either. Like I said. Or maybe I didn’t. It’s all a jumbled mess, and the only conclusion I can draw from all the gibberish spewing from my mind is that it quite definitely is fucked (for lack of a more appropriate word).

Why, Miss. Banerjee?

Ruled by the left-wing Communist Party of India (Marxist) for over three decades, Kolkata, or the “City of Joy” as it is fondly called, had been the core of communist politics. This, however, had failed to please the people and after years of disappointment, it came as no surprise when the 2011 assembly elections brought on a complete makeover in the affairs of the state. Having gained the confidence of the people through widespread campaigning, the Trinamool Congress, West Bengal’s state political party and an important ally of the United Progressive Alliance, swept the polls and gave new hope for better governance.

A conversation about one’s mission to overthrow communist politics would be incomplete without mentioning Mamata Banerjee, TMC’s commanding leader. Be it via concrete facts or blame games, she made use of every possible means to loosen CPI (M)’s grip over West Bengal politics. Although her aim to lead the state was achieved after a long wait, she finally found her place as the chief minister of West Bengal.

TMC and the Indian National Congress shared a common objective to oust the CPI (M) from its rule in the state. It was with their backing that Banerjee could pave way to her office in the Writer’s Building in Kolkata.

The Congress usually shares cordial relations with its allies, lets them take the lead in the state and depends on their support in the central government. This balance is typically maintained by both parties. So, the growing tension between the two allies in the not-so-recent past came as a shock to many political experts.

Banerjee had plans of her own.

Friction between the allies began with the Congress demanding more seats in the assembly and Banerjee out-and-out refusing them. She blocked the policy of 100 percent foreign direct investment in retail, she gave into secessionist demands and handed Gorkhaland administrative autonomy and also blocked the international agreement with Bangladesh over sharing waters of the Teesta River.

So we ask: Why, after so many years of striving to achieve their goal, would she risk losing out on the Congress’ support? Also, why would she oppose proposals which could benefit sections of the society as well as the population of West Bengal?

A 180 degree change in opinion

“Destructive bandhs (strikes) are not the future, and it ends today,” she said in response the failure of the bandh called by the Left on Feb. 28.

From 2006 to 2011, I lived in Kolkata myself. Apart from the city turning into a ghost town between the afternoon hours of one to five, if there was one thing that annoyed me the most about the city, it was the number of bandhs that were declared by the political parties of the state. It didn’t matter which commodity was the new target of price rise or who insulted or assaulted who in a remote part of the state, calling for bandhs seemed the answer to most of them. And yes, most of them were declared by the TMC.

It was not long before she was appointed the CM of West Bengal that she organized a sizeable number of road blocks and called for bandhs across the state. Why, I ask, would she make such a hypocritical statement?
It is only when in opposition that political parties realize the inconvenience it causes to citizens when such untimely bandhs are declared.  Clearly, such is the case with Banerjee as well.

Change in alphabetical status or mere stupidity?

State leaders believed that they faced an alphabetical disadvantage in meetings and surveys. To counter this drawback, West Bengal was renamed “Paschimbanga” in August 2011. This was done to raise the state’s alphabetical position from 28 to 21.

However, if raising its alphabetical position was the only motive behind this sudden need to rename the state, why did they not go with other suggested names such as Bangla or Banga? As filmmaker Rituparno Ghosh said, Bengal would have been the ideal replacement. Not only does “Bengal” sound a lot better, it would have also raised the state’s alphabetic position to fourth instead of 21st.

Not to mention it would be ridiculed a lot less.

Where is the need to maintain the term “west” in the name of the state (“paschim” in Bengali, means west)? Except in history, East Bengal no longer exists. The circumstances in which the state was partitioned was not one that called for celebrations; they were tragic and do not deserve to be remembered, even in the form of a mere name.

In spite of all the criticism thrown her way, there is no denying that Banerjee’s popularity has risen over the years. She knows her way around politics and is good at moving the crowd to accept her ways as well.

Littering and Indians' all-pervading apathy

Every time I draw near a street corner, I hold in my breath. Strange as it may sound, this is something I have learned from years of experience. Having come to realize that a street corner in India is synonymous with an enormous pile of garbage, I know that I will most definitely be hit by an awful stench every time I approach one.

Around the world, people are taking note of India’s economic growth. However, to those who live in the country as well as those who come for visits, one thing about the country which is clearly noticeable is that their disinterest in taking care of environmental sanitation and their propensity to litter are fields in which India and its citizens seem to have come to a standstill.

There is garbage everywhere in this country: in public spaces like parks, before government offices, and also, the most ironical of them all, under signs that say, “Please do not litter here.” In all these spots, one is sure to find a heap of innocent-looking trash just waiting to grow. Nobody seems to care about the right way to discard their waste. If anything, when a person finds a mound of garbage, he or she only adds to it.

Throwing our trash out in the streets seems to be the norm for people in this country. It seems standard here. Having lived surrounded by waste and garbage all their lives, it does not bother people anymore. As long as they have some place to dispose the trash from their houses, they are content. No one seems to care about their social responsibility of keeping their surroundings clean; and by surroundings, here, I mean the neighborhood beyond their doorsteps.

So, what does this say about these people?

No matter how the country progresses economically, there never seems to be any change in their attitude towards the environment. The streets seem to be everyone’s common dustbin. Everything we don’t need ends up in a pile somewhere out in the open.

Such is the scenario now that dumping garbage in open grounds and littering is no longer seen as an environmental problem. It is shameful that one of the fastest-growing economies needs to be seen in such light.

Although environmentally conscious people do exist, there is only so much that they can do. When these rare breed of people call the commonly seen littering mongrels on their behavior, they are either mocked or simply ignored. Instead of looking up to such people for the cause they take up, they are ridiculed.

Several municipalities in the country have proposed anti-litter laws that never see the stage of actual implementation. Even if such laws are really enforced, they would become nothing but a source of illegal income for the police or others who are given the responsibility of tackling litterers. Any fines imposed on a litterer would turn into bribes and be pocketed by them.

Apart from people’s indifference and the corrupt officials, inefficient municipalities and their inability to do away with trash from the streets, as they are supposed to, is another reason behind our filthy, garbage-cluttered streets. More often than not, the pileup that we see is trash that is overflowing from a dustbin which was probably meant to be emptied months ago. What can we expect from the common people if those, who are given the official responsibility of keeping the streets clean, slack off?

If people need to shop, they can walk all day long; if money is involved, they’re on their toes and working hard for it; but if they are asked to move a couple of feet to reach an actual dustbin, all the lethargy in the world seeps into them.

Indians’ mentality towards the environment needs to change. Their lackadaisical attitude and sheer laziness needs to give way to environmental consciousness and a basic sense of community hygiene. Sooner or later, Indians need to realize that, socially accepted or not, the “practice” of littering must be brought to an end.

My ‘Indianness,’ my own making

Given India’s multicultural diversity, how can one define Indianness? Could it be defined as patriotism and devotion towards one country, or a person’s cultural identity in their society?

I believe that our “Indianness” is most certainly imposed upon us to an extent. Indians are expected to dislike Pakistan and its people. If a person so much as attempts to voice their opinion in favor of Pakistan’s claim that Kashmir belongs to them, he or she is met with strong opposition.

Taking into consideration an issue, or opinion on a subject that has countrywide support, people are expected to go along with popular public opinion. This was clear when Anna Hazare’s crusade against corruption was at its heights, and regardless of what their opinions on the subject were, there weren’t many who were willing to voice their views against his “my way, or the highway” approach to getting what he wanted done.

Also, seldom are girls seen clad in a pair of jeans and short t-shirts when in a temple, mosque or other places of worship. They are expected to dress in “traditional” Indian clothes when in such places.  Even in the 21^st century, women do not have the freedom to wear what they want to.

I was born into a Bengali family, but by nature, I’m as non-Bengali as one can be. My family moved to Chennai in 1997, and having lived there for nine years, I was brought up in an environment that is poles apart from one that we may find in Bengal.

There have been innumerable occasions where people have tried to force me into behaving more like what they believe a Bengali should behave like. They have tried their hardest to force me to respond in Bengali, which, in spite of being my mother tongue, is a language I’m not comfortable conversing in. I detest Bengali food; yet my family never ceases to force it on me. I consider Durga Pooja, the main festival of Bengalis, an extremely noisy celebration—These are certain things that often upset other Bengalis who expect me to speak a certain way or even think a certain way.

M.F. Hussain was exiled for depicting Hindu goddesses in the nude but similar such portrayals can be seen in the famous Khajuraho temples; Salman Rushdie’s “The Satanic Verses” was banned in the country for hurting Muslim sentiments, but Taslima Nasrin was welcomed even though she was accused of much the same; political parties which are known for pushing their religious beliefs, the Bharatiya Janata Party for instance, which is widely popular for its “Hindutva” (Hinduism), are voted for in a country that claims to be secular—These are just a few instances among countless others which reveal the hypocrisy present among Indians. It makes me wonder if their frequently violent reactions are genuine, or do they merely go along with “accepted” outlooks?

Even though such conformist attitudes continue to exist in India, it all comes down to whether a person is willing to give into this kind of pressure in their everyday lives. An individual’s “Indianness” or Indian identity is something that should come from within, and not one that is forced upon them.  Conducting yourself a certain way because you feel obliged to do so does not make that your own identity. A person may believe that a lot can be accomplished by setting up a farce of an identity, but ultimately, this does nothing but creates another clone of what societies believe is an ideal Indian.

I most certainly will never understand why people assume that it is their duty to attempt to “mend” others’ mannerisms and way of thinking. I’m headstrong by nature (if I may say so myself), and quite stubborn as well, and cannot be easily pressurized into doing anything against my will. With absolutely no patience for people who are oblivious to their own bigotry, I could really care less about what others may have to say about me, as my identity, is of my own making.

Ever loving, never loved

Amidst the vast population of the country are an enormous number of ill-treated, unhealthy and injured street animals, with dogs constituting the majority of them. These street dogs face a great deal of cruelty in the hands of Indians. They are kicked, stoned, abused, run over and often tortured among other forms of brutality.

The ardent dog-lover that I am, loyal, friendly, loving, compassionate, endearing and plain adorable are the first thoughts that cross my mind when I think of dogs. Domestic or stray, they are all the same to me. However, given the way they are treated in the country, they clearly are not as loved as they deserve to be.

These animals face abuse in the hands of children and adults as well. Seen a lot with the uneducated population, we often find that there are those who gain some kind of sick, twisted pleasure by afflicting torture on these animals. There are better ways to achieve such feelings with having to resort to such barbaric means. One can only wonder how such sadism can make anyone feel good about themselves.

Civic bodies no different

Such abuse occurs at the hands of not just the general not-so-animal-friendly public, but from civic bodies as well. We frequently hear news of street dogs being neutered without being given sedatives or anesthetics. These reports are often heart wrenching stories of neutered dogs being left in a bloody mess after they are done being operated on. Such civic bodies are expected to watch over the welfare of these animals but instead, special institutions need to be set up to keep a check on their cold-blooded acts.

Founder of Voice of Stray Dogs and animal rights activist Rakesh Shukla believes that even in developed cities like Bangalore, street dogs are harmed and ill-treated, with civic bodies too, the Bruhat Bangalore Mahanagara Palike in this case, indulging in such misdeeds. He believes that the BBMP’s Animal Husbandry Department is especially dedicated to illegal relocation of street dogs.

According to their Animal Birth Control program, which was adopted to maintain the population of street dogs in the city at a manageable number, they need to capture the dogs, neuter them, and once they are operated on, drop them back in the same locality that they were taken from. However, these dogs are more often than not dropped off at an entirely different locality. Given their territorial nature, these dogs fight amongst themselves, and in the process, not only do they injure themselves, but are also termed a nuisance by residents as a result of the entire ruckus they create.

People’s rush, their doom

Being stoned and kicked out of the way are common everyday occurrences in the lives of street dogs. But these are in close competition with them being run over and either getting injured, or losing their lives altogether. These animals go unnoticed and are often ignored by people on the roads who are always in a hurry to get to places. Their negligible regard for their lives is evident with their refusal to slow down even a wee bit.

Does it cause people such a great deal of pain to simply slow down a tad just so these animals can move away from their approaching vehicle? The degree to which people can extend their heartlessness is purely mind boggling.

There is no law against treating street dogs with compassion, nor is there one against feeding them or giving them a place to stay. No matter how many times they are pelted at with stones or harmed in any way, the nature of dogs is such that they would go wagging their tails at the very same people if they are approached with kindness. It pains me to watch them run away at the slightest twitch of a limb from even those who truly care about them, as cruelty is all that they have faced their entire lives.

Their sad plight is being dealt with by several animal rights organizations and NGOs taking up their cause and looking out of their welfare as well. There are institutions which provide them with homes and also battle for their rights in cases of intolerable cruelty.

There isn’t much that I care for as much as I do for these creatures. By no means can I even begin to comprehend how one can bring themselves to being nasty to these dogs. An urgent change in attitude towards them is needed. People need to reach out to their humanity and bring an end to such brutality towards these hapless animals.